and i didnt think that this was the way we would become closer: you providing me with an escape hatch, a way out of all the poision and people and lies and evil.

at one time, i thought that not being with you was the worst thing i could ever feel, how naiive. i crave for that time when that was the only thing wrong in my life.


i feel so weak, i have nothing in me left, and you see that, and then you provide light in the dark, but i cant feel anything except the fear and pain anymore.

i cant tell the truth, and i cant tell anymore lies. where does that leave me? silence is best, silence is always best. I dont exist when there is only silence. i am tired of existing, you are helping me fight again to live for myself to love my self.

how can you still love me?
how can i forget so easily?


where did i go? can i make it back?


i keep saying dont give up dont give up dont give up

but to who im saying it too i have no idea.


maybe it hurts so much because this is all my fault, maybe it hurts so much because i am afraid of compassion because i dont feel i deserve it.



and you are going to help me save myself, and i will save myself, and i will leave and hurt everyone that i leave behind, just please dont stop loving me because you are the only reason i still keep trying to love myself.


your love is my turning page, only the sweetest words remain. every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redifining phrase. i am finally going home, and thats to where you are