i've been selfish looking out for no one but me,

and im tired of feeling bad okaY? id rather feel nothing.


i am tired of the things that ive lost,
the water and the deep and all of that,




fuck people that can get past that,
fuck people that can bury it


hope has been carved out of my gut,

i am yearning to be punished,
eeven half of the way im punishing myself inside,


i want someone to tear up my skin,
so at least that would compare to how bad i feel inside,

i want a deep ending,
proof somewhere that this is what has happened
and this is how bad i hurt
and this is what i fucking deserve


i want someone to rip my skin from my body.



I WANR THIS TO MATTER

I WANT THIS TO MEAN SOMETHING


THIS HAS PROVEN
ONCE AGAIN
I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NO MATER WHAT I DO




nail marks on mr arm arent even good enough