God this, this, this is always it.

There was a point for me where I gave up, where my mind threw logic and being rational out from inside me, like I decided to discard another piece of me. 

I should have been scared because of how easy it was, instead I laughed with the wind. 

Sometimes I wonder how many pieces of myself I really have left.

Sometimes I wonder if I do this on purpose, sometimes i wonder if ill ever be able to stop.

The girl inside me cries thick thick tears down my cheeks and my throat aches because I just keep getting smaller and smaller.

I wonder how much of me is left.

Fucking vultures, but then another thought comes unbidden and honest,

Who's really the vulture,

Aren't you one too? 

But somehow different 

somehow

Not quite right

because unlike others, I only eat myself.

 

The tears the tears, they won't stop. I feel dumb and stupid and pathetic.

Why is there only ever this?

Why do I keep comin back here?

I stand over the abyss and look over the edge and Instead of seeing death; I see comfort and instead of running away from it, I jump in.