this change in me,
this change in me.


i said today to you, "I am tired of being the girl that cares, I dont want to be her anymore."

and right now, that is who i am, the girl that doesn't care.

there was something in me that would fight for life, for a future, and now i am looking on my bedroom floor everywhere for that piece of me, i cant find it.

what is becoming of me?

i dont even recognize myself.

there is a tiny voice inside myself- screaming to be heard, and yet i ignore it.

I cant admit that i am lost, i cant admit that i want something different, i cant admit that i am not anywhere i want to be, i cant admit what ive done, i cant admit that i want to change things, i cant admit that i am afraid.


fuck you, dont look at me, there is nothing to see.



i keep screaming at the mirror: i cant feel anything.