Fading out

I’m tuning you out, 

Fading you out. 

I need to be done with you, 

Loving you hurts me too much. Loving you from this distance, loving you when you won’t put me first, when you won’t fight for yourself. When you won’t fight for me, or us. Did I even mean that much to you? 

I know I did. So where did that go ?? How do you just act like it doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t hurt you? That’s what hurts the most. That over here I’m dying, and you are fine with it. How can you be fine with this? How? And yet I know deep down. I’ve known this whole time and that’s what makes me angry at myself. You will always choose someone who has control over you than me. I never wanted to control you. I gave you freedom, I gave you unconditional love. But you haven’t given me the same. You’ve chosen. I know you have. And should I have compassion? Sure i always do. But I can’t condone this. I can’t condone what you’ve done. I know that if you come back my perception and love for you won’t be the same. I won’t be the same girl. 

We could take it slower,

Wait until we’re older

But I might be somebody 

You might not even know her

I’m going through changes

It’s a roller coaster 

But I might be somebody

You might not even know her.